Tag: pastry

The Queen of Tarts is always acting all high and mighty, baking bread and cookies and I think probably even people every night. She'll casually pull out some flour and other stuff, get a bowl or something, and in twenty minutes she'll be yanking a tray of golden brown tastiness out of the oven. Her demeanor seems to say, what, bread? Oh look, here it is. Easiest thing in the world.

So, for Russian night, I decided to make a mushroom pastry. I'd show her. I'd whip up a huge plate of tasty mushroom foods and then I'd be the one who shrugs modestly. Oh yeah, those pastries? Totally easy.

I started the night before with:

• 3 cups flour
• 1 cup sour cream
• 2 sticks of butter

The recipe I was following told me to cut the whole thing together with a wide knife. Not knowing what the heck it was talking about, I got a butter knife and cut the mixture together while watching Bob the Builder. By the end of it, my shoulders were totally and completely sore.

The next day, I sauteed:

• 1 lb minced mushrooms
• 1 minced large onion

I added some pepper and tarragon during the cooking process, then set it aside to cool down while I pulled out the dough.

Of course, the dough didn't look right. It kept falling apart. It was impossible to roll. So I got out the pastry knife (yeah, I didn't know we had one the night before) and cut in an additional half stick of softened butter. The dough formed a nifty ball immediately. Victory for me.

I started rolling the dough out, but it was pretty sticky, and it kept tearing in places. In fact, it took me an hour to roll out, but I learned one vital fact you'll need if you ever work with dough: flour is your friend. If your dough even begins to give you lip, cover it (and your rolling surface) with flour. You cannot have enough flour on hand. It's mathematically impossible.

Once I had the dough rolled out to about a quarter inch, I cut it into squares. I mixed a cup of grated parmesan into the mushroom mixture, put teaspoonfuls of it into the squares, and folded them diagonally. After all the little triangley things were made, they were brushed with egg yolk, sprinkled with caraway seeds, and put into a 350-degree oven for twenty minutes.

Were they good? Yeah. They were good. They were pretty darn good. But I couldn't shrug and be all modest, because my shoulders might have fallen off.

One evening at 10pm I decided that I just had to make the Pop-Tarts I had seen good 'ol AB make on Good Eats. This is a super easy recipe and comes out tasting great.

To see the recipe in its original form please refer to The Food Network.

Here is how I work the recipe:

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt

Add the flour, baking powder and salt to a medium bowl. Stir with a fork (or if you would like you may sift them together).

Next add in 6 tablespoons shortening and combine until crumbly (as shown in photo). Now stir in 3/4 cup milk.

Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead until elastic.

Note: I find that this dough works best when it has just left the sticky stage. So, you may need to add in an extra 1/4 - 1/2 cup flour during the kneading process.

Divide the dough into two equal halves.

Roll each half into a 12 inch by 12 inch square. Cut each square into 12 rectangles measuring 3 inches by 4 inches.

Bottoms: Place about 1 tablespoon of your favorite jam, jelly, or preserves into the center of half of the rectangles.

Tops: With a fork dock the other half of the rectangles.

Dip your finger or pastry brush in water and run it around the edge of the bottom. Now add the top gently pushing out any air from the center. Use a fork to gently seal all the way around the edge.

Place the tarts on a baking sheet and bake in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. These tarts do not brown on the top.

Eat them hot from the oven or allow to cool and place into an airtight container. If you want a hot one just pop it in the toaster!

The kids and I have been talking about different flavors. All the early batches were strawberry, but today we used a greek jam that was sour cherry. I would like to try putting a bit of cream cheese inside with the jelly.

I did try out a frosting recipe, but the thought of Pop-Tart Blow-Torches has scared me away from pre-frosting the tarts. I would like to come up with a sweetened cream cheese frosting that I can keep in the freezer and then just squeeze on to the tarts after they have been toasted. Something like what Pillsbury does with their Toaster Strudels.

This recipe really is super simple and the kids all love them. I love them because they taste way better then a box of Pop-Tarts and they have none of the additives. The most unhealthy part would be the shortening, but Crisco just made that trans-fat free. If that is still a concern though you could try substituting Smart Balance Shortening. If you do try that let me know how it works out. I haven't bought a can yet, but it has been tempting especially with how often I have been making these tarts.

One final note. If you looked at the original recipe you may have noted that AB uses an egg wash around the edges of the tarts to seal them. After making the recipe several times and having to discard the remaining egg wash I decided that I wanted to find an alternative. I have found that simply using water is enough of sealant. No more wasted eggs!

Unfortunately, a temporary setback in paychecks is keeping me from buying the food to write about, so I decided to stave off boredom at Derek's behest by entering a short summary of How I Managed To Live On The Streets Of Las Vegas For A Long Time With No Money Whatsoever.

1. Winchells. They throw out their old donuts in the late hours. This is a good way to get free stale donuts.

2. Starbucks. They throw out their old pastries every night when they close. Since they use better ingredients than Winchells, the food is much better. Also, espresso brownies give you the boost you need to panhandle in front of major grocery stores until late the next morning (hint: look for struggling single women and give them the bus fare schtick. More often than not, this can net you five bucks worth of burritos).

3. Slots-A-Fun. Free popcorn once with each shift change can net you four baggies of intense sodium and some much needed roughage.

With any luck, I'll have money soon and therefore be able to get back to ingredient cookery. Until then, au revoir.